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Sunday, August 13, 2006

i realise smt

this blogger here is like, more or less lost for words. nothing very happening has happened lately, other than the fact that Teri has gone home. she went home on Fri and i was in her room up till her pick-up came. we were never close with each other, but since last last week, when the news came that she was to stop her studies n UWA, we hung ard more often. so, when the moment came, it was abit hard for me as well. i teared. and i feel like, kinda empty nowadays.
i could blog about Teri leaving but i tot i jus couldnt put those emotions down in words and decided to keep tat as a private memory. more or less anyway, until when i feel like i could find the words to describe wat i feel. wat affected me so much is not the fact that she left, but the fact that life is jus like tat. ppl come into ur life, ppl go. nothing stays forever. after these couple of weeks of hanging ard with her, i realise i really kinda like her. then, she had to go back home. so this qn flashed acrossed my mind. y did i waste 1.5yrs not getting to know her? sigh, then i look ard the ppl ard me and i think, would i ever like them enuf to talk to them and make frens with them? if so, how much time have i actually wasted.
it dawned to me, as i grow older and older day by day, i get more indifferent to such tings as making more new frens. like, i jus cannot be bothered to step out of my comfort zone and try to welcome ppl into my life with open arms. u want to be frens with me, u take the 1st step. or maybe cos im jus like, lazy. hah. more likely i guess. now i want more time to myself and do things tat will please myself. so i stay in my room alot these days, with the door closed. i take naps on my table, becos i feel better tis way. if i sleep on my bed i feel bad, cos its not bedtime yet and im sleepy. i watch and rewatch my superband dvds my mum sent me. i listen to my songs and chill out. i open my textbooks and try to make sense of it, but it actually jus means i stare at my bks and they stare back. the gd ting is its not like i dun have my motivation. its jus, i wanna do things at my own pace and i feel so drained out at the end of the day i jus simply cant tink anymore.
which leads to the next topic. ive been sleeping alot these days. do u tink there is actually an illness? cos on fri, i skipped dinner and slept from 6pm-12am. then continue sleeping from 4am-12pm the next day again. its jus, i feel so tired and i jus wanna sleep all day long. thou i noe one shd never sleep all they want, but i feel like im like an empty shell on most days. tat may explain why i sometimes am so blur and have dazed looks on my face.
but never mind. im starting on a healthy lifestyle, hopefully. going joggin at least 2-3 times a week and situps almost everynite. eat less and hope to get rid of the fat ard my cheeks. i dun wanna look like Hamtaro!

sigh, so, is tis wat it feels like to be old?

You Are Unique, Just Like Everyone Else. 8:39 pm.
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.:: I Say,They Say ::.

It's True You Don't Know What You've Got Till Its Gone, But It's Also True You Don't Know What You Been Missing Till It Arrives!

.::TaGs HeR3::.

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