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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Val, again.

jus a quick post here...
msn with val a couple of days ago, and i cant believe it! it felt just like yesterday i spoke to her!
there wasnt a time lag or anyting and we picked up from just where we left!
so glad, cos after sec4, we never really toked again.
but we connected, jus like we were sitting next to each other in class!
Val, u r my guardian angel in class! (private joke. haha)
u were my fren in class.
we worked hard together and we walked the entire journey of sec 3/1 and 4/1 together.
we had tis bond. it was unique. i guess cos we had similar interests and we were in the same class etc.
its hard to describe. i felt close to u. i tink u understand me, in the most intangible way.
Lun know me inside out.
Ly is someone i can pour my heart out.
Seow and Shah are my brudders.
the list can go on and on, like this:
....
....
....
and u.
i tink u kinda noe me. we connected in another manner. after the msn and the webcam session, mayb cos u didnt see me or tok to me in a long long while, u could sense a change in me. the me u saw a few days ago is another me. its a totally different stage altogether. because u were not with me along the way, i guess u could better sense it.
its like im a tree and seeing the same tree 4 years again, u can really see the change. as compared to seein the tree grow everyday.
U said i seem to have lost my spark. i tink i noe wat spark u mean. but then again, because its so abstract, im not REALLY sure too. haha.
the spark i tink i lost over time, i tink its part of growing up. i cant do and say things whenever i feel like it, becos the world is not forgiving to the honest.
i cant show my dislike nor my disdain, becos i will find myself to be the bane of society and outcast myself.
i also tink im stronger than in the past, thanks to alot of "misfortunes" and lessons, esp in sec sch. i swear, thanks to vb, i acquired more than a skill.
i got long-lasting frens.
i learnt to be thick-skin [vballers,u noe wat im toking bout! =)]
i learnt to not cry over someting i Cannot control. (i try not to anyway.)
i learnt, when no one gives a shit about me, the more i must not let myself down.
i learnt to make sure i can answer to myself at the end of the day.
the list could go on.
but because of wat i learnt, jus on court,
i believe im a stronger person than the unsuspecting, naive teenager at age 13.
val said she tot im somehow a little different and not so carefree, happy-go-lucky.
i tink its because of all these lessons and more, which mold me into who i am today.
val, during the msn conv, u said i was one of the few close frens u had in sec sch.
its a promise renewed, then.
to be frens (frens, not hi-bye type) again from now on. (try to, anyway.)
take care and dun lose urself too!

You Are Unique, Just Like Everyone Else. 10:05 pm.
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